Faith, Hope and LOVE

Happy Valentines everyone... ;)
since today is the day to celebrate love, i also wanna celebrate love by sharing my love story.

i think i have told everybody that i am 'jorok', alias JOmblo dari oROK. it means i have never had anyone titled as 'my boy friend' before in my whole 27 years of life. it is kinda pathethic actually. i am not that young, but i am such a one. hehehe. but the whole thing does not mean i have never felt in love before. if counted, i've felt being in love, 3 times (i think).

when i was in junior high, i used to like a guy. he's, i think, the cutest guy in my school at that moment. he's sooooo cool. and popular too. he has this habit of buying new version of NIKE shoes every 3 weeks. he's smart. and on top of all, he played basketball good. we were not in the same class, but he was my course mate. teman bimbingan belajar. he lived not far from my house. only 10 minutes ride from my home. so we occasionally went home together. but he had a girl friend. his girl friend is the member of the school most popular girl gank. she is also very cute, not to mention smart. so i had to lay my hope high. and i never dare to think to be more than his weekend-going-out-to-PIM-silent friend.
so there was i. lying all my hopes and dreams. and i decided to continue my journey to find someone like junior high guy.

i remember i never found any guy close to him in my search. i couldn't forget the guy's image for as long as my high school years. so the years gone by. and i was still looking. and my years got me to the university. there, i still couldn't find any figure close to him. sad, it is. and i went by.

after university, i didn't spend much time waiting for a job. i worked as a part time english teacher and then got a job in one of Indonesia's (now) leading company. i worked there having forgotten the image of my old-silent adore for the junior guy. may be becoz of the so long time, i also have forgotten how to be warm. specially to guys. i have forgotten to even 'like' a guy. until 1 beautiful day, when i was feeling tired, i saw someone. someone that my eyes told my brain that he is kinda cute. i didn't know why he made me happy when i saw him that first moment. with a lot of courage, i tried to smile to him. and surprisingly... he smiled back at me. i was soooooo happy.
my happiness did not just stop me there. he was not only smiling back at me, but at one down point of my life, he SMS me for the first time. and that SMS was the beginning of my beautiful moments of what others would think is love.

knowing him is, up to this moment, my best moments in life. but in the same time, i was also sooo hurt. but all my joy went excedingly beyond my hurt. i hardly felt my hurt becoz i went head over heels. he really knows how to treat me. he knows exactly where to touch me. kalo kata Ari Lasso; 'sentuhlah dia tepat di hatinya, dia kan jadi milikmu selamanya'. and that was exactly what he did. he never treated me too much. too ladylike. too personal. he treated me just enough. enough to make me did not wanna see all other guys surround me.
and i was soooooo happy. when i was with him, it was the best moments ever in my life...

and then somethings going on. until now, i never really knew what it was, or they were. was it me, or something i did. and i can't figure out the answer also, nor got the answer, or ever be able to get the answer. on one sad day, he just left me. there... alone... making me all feeling devastated.

about more than 2 months feeling devastated, i tried to move on. i thought i was all right.
and all of a sudden, he came. surprisingly, picking me up just like he always did. my hopes went high to the moon. i was again feeling veryyyy happy.

but to my surprise, that day was my last day seeing him. he was trying to say good bye to me. in his own way, on valentine's day, on the day of love. exactly last year. he gave me a gift as a token for his good bye. thea gift was a pink t-shirt. i didn't realize it until days after. but it was all too late.

if i had known it before, i would say the words i always wanted to say. i would say my thanks for all the best moments he shared with me.

when i remember the day the first time i met him, when i gave him the first smile, i remember i was wearing my black t-shirt. and on my last day with him, i was also wearing black.

it begins black, it ends black.

today, i remember him...
may be i will always remember him.
and again, i thank him.

posted by flirty @ 9:24 PM