these last few weeks i tried to calm down. try not to make a scene. ngga kesel. selalu ambil nafas dalem-dalem sebelum kesel. walopun keselnya belum tentu ilang, tapi paling ngga agak lebih baik.
mencoba menendang pikiran jelek. gue mulai mencoba untuk pasrah. elus dada aja. santai. ngilangin stress. :)
i've also made some quite surprising breakthrough. i've avoided malls. malls are not again for every day or every week or every two weeks consumption anymore. i tried not to shop for anything but somethings i think is convenient for me.
well...
i think i've made quite a progress there. hehehe.
in some areas i tried to make a difference too.
i went to see a doctor to treat my hair. and now, i'm loving my hair even more.
well, i should've cut it. it's just too long now. it's reached my hips now. *bangga* :P
i also finally start to go to the gym now. i've started about 2 days ago, and now almost all of my body is aching. not to mention, broke. going to the gym is actually a high maintenance kinda lifestyle.
but i'm happy. :)
i bought a new camera.
small one. but i'm quite satisfied with it. :)
and now i can't wait to go on my vacations. *big grin*
life runs well lah.
THANK GOD! :)
errr, well. ada sih yang bikin pengen kesel.
errr, gue sepertinya tetep ngga suka dicuekin, dilewatin gitu aja.
eerrrrgghh, walopun sekarang juga gue lagi elus-elus dada tapi gue pikir semua ada waktunya. time will heal... time will reveal...
and since i have my own great defender,
i shall not worry! :D
eeeaaasssyyy ;)
buset.
rasanya kesel aja terus seharian. jadi stress sendirian gini gara-gara ngga jelas.
parah.
apa gara-gara kurang tidur ya? apa gara-gara mo pms? apa emang karna gue lagi pengen kesel aja?
aduh. gimana ya?
my 2012 resolution:
i 
will do at least 5 acts of kindness everyday...
Tuhan, aku pengen bisa ngomong...
hai blog.
baru aja nge-review beberapa tulisan gue di bawah. ternyata gue kalo mood nulis cuma karena gue lagi sebel.
mo dirubah ah... hehehe.
oke. sekarang gue punya cerita baru.
hari ini ceritanya penilaian kerja. hasil gue lumayanlah. gue bisa kerja lah ya. :)
masalahnya setelah baca itu, rasanya gue jadi ngga pede. rasanya gue butuh pede booster.
bukan karena nilainya yang jelek. tapi setelah baca penilaian gue, gue sadar gue emang kurang bisa berkomunikasi.
gue lebih suka diam. kadang gue diem karena gue males aja ngomong. kadang gue diem karena gue ngga mau tau, karena mungkin sesuatu itu bukan urusan gue. kadang gue diem karena gue ngga suka keliatan sok tau (you know, sometimes people say something just because they want to be seen or known or lick somebody's ass, while sometimes what they say is not something important). terus mungkin juga karena kebiasaan, kadang karena kata-katanya ilang aja dari otak gue, jadilah gue diem aja.
padahal setelah gue sadar, seharusnya gue ngomong aja.
it is part of my job to say something. even if that something is not that important. i need to learn to say something in front of many different kinds of people, formal and informal kind of people. i need to learn to formulate a sentence through nice words (this is important!) to be able to produce good understanding, to be able to communicate my message to different kinds of people.
i'll learn.
hope i'll get smarter. Amen. :)
lagi mencoba adaptasi sama keadaan. sepertinya keadaan kantor lagi berubah.
lagi pada bete kayanya. apalagi kalo gue coba ikutan. hegh.
padahal itu part of my job loh. apa mereka pikir gue ngerecokin. perasaan gue sih ngga ya. :(
yasudahlah.
sekarang ini emang lagi penting-pentingnya positif thinking. aura negatifnya agak kenceng nih di deket gue. :)
kenapa musti ikutan punya aura yang sama dengan mereka kalo itu ngga bener. mending sok ngga tau aja.
mengutip kata orang, 'this too shall pass'.
amien. :)
baiklah...
ku pikir ku harus diam saja. :)
baru selesai miting nih.
ih, hari ini i just learned a valuable lesson.
hari ini ceritanya gue harus persiapan untuk miting sama klien besar besok. gue ngomong sesuatu ke seorang bos dan sepertinya dia ngga terima dengan apa yang gue omongin.
well, gue cukup keras kepala sih. dan akhirnya gue sadar kalo gue salah. hehe.
gak cuma malu sih gue. sedih juga.
dan itu jadi pelajaran gue karena ternyata intrik kantor itu lebih besar dan mungkin lebih dalem dari yang gue rasa dan yang gue tau. secara juga gue cuma cere. ngga mungkin tau banyak. dan gue rasa gue juga ngga boleh tau banyak. buat apaan?? *ngomong sendiri* :P
well, gue sadar sih kalo kantor itu penuh dengan intrik politik. biasanya gue cuma cukup tau abis itu gue ngga mau tau lagi. tapi pikir-pikir gue juga antara polos dan bodoh. gue suka telen mentah-mentah apa yang gue tau atau yang gue pikir gue tau.
dan ternyata ngga bisa gitu! :P
hehehe.
dan akhirnya setelah nulis disini ketauan deh.
gue ternyata cuma sedikit bodoh aja.
hwehehehehehehehehehe.
beneran sedih deh gue.
parah sedihnya... :(
punya temen geng tapi rasanya ngga dianggep. ngga pernah diajak ngapa-ngapain lagi gue akhir-akhir ini. giliran gue yang ngajak ngga ada yang mau.
sedih ngga sih.
sekalian aja mereka bukan jadi temen gue. apa emang gue ngga dianggap temen.
hiks. hiks. hiks.
ya udah deh.
gue juga musti ngga terlalu ngarep lagi.
sedih sih. tapi mo begimana lagi.
hiks. hiks. hiks.
memang menyakitkan kalo ngerasa ilang sesuatu.
even if that 'sesuatu' is not something that you really want to have.
hiks.
well, so happy for you dear friend. :)
why do i feel weird??perasaan gue ngga jelas deh...
mudah-mudahan gara-gara gue lagi dalam masa PMS. jadi emosinya ngga jelas. naik turun. kesel, seneng. terus kadang-kadang terlalu cerewet. (eh, ngga nyambung ya. hehehe).
sepertinya gue udah mulai biasa nih. kalo mau 'dapet' gini rasanya. gue jadi nefting. udah suka mikir yang ngga jelas, terus negatif lagi.
jadi dalam rangka ngilangin perasaan negatif ini, gue mau menumpahkan (halah, menumpahkan... :P) prasangka buruk gue kesini, terus I'm gonna stop thinking about it and forget that everything ever happened. :D
okay. let us begin... :)
i think i'm a fast learner. i think i'm quite creative as a person. and i think when u get to know me well, u'll know i'm quite smart *evil laugh* *pede berath* (and... let's just hope somebody notices me that well. :P).
then, when i begin to think that somebody notices me that i'm good enough at what i do to do something, i feel stumbled. i feel something or somebody doesn't want me to be that good. (and the 'nefting' begins... hehehe).
aseli. i begin to think this person is... *hegh* ngeselin.
pushes people around.
yasudahlah.
i will just go with the flow. if i do something right, i might rise. :)
well, good deeds never go in vain.
amen.
anjrit!
keselnya ngga ilang-ilang.
kesel! kesel! kesel!
